July, July

Is this a mid year reflection of my 2013? Maybe. Ever since my 2012 year-end post, I’ve collected quite a number of things including a speeding ticket, memories from my trip to the motherland, bruises from my last minute cheap mud-proof boot purchase for a summer music festival and *drum roll please*, a boyfriend. Yes, I may not have posted it on Facebook yet, but I am now officially in a relationship.

Still fresh and newer than new, this relationship has been making me smile a lot lately even at work, where I lose my soul a little bit for at least 2 hours a day. It’s been really amazing to just hang out with this guy, who’s almost the same person as I am, only from a different race and of the opposite gender. It’s really strange how we connect in so many levels, a far cry from the guys I’ve dated in the past. He makes it so easy and our shared interests, including our flair for sarcasm and passion for music, just make everything fall into place effortlessly. Funny how fate just decidedly knocked me down right after I’ve mostly given up on people. (See post here)

Obviously, this is not to say I’ve achieved the greatest accomplishment in life. But I am just thrilled for what’s to come in the next couple of months. My single self has slowly taken its departure after two years and I have now been welcoming and embracing, although a little apprehensively, my other version of self – the less grumpy but just as fun self.

Well, we’ll see how this one goes.

Break

My Pandora is still going and taking me to really really strange places but it actually made me inspired to write. I am not going to be really particular about the events in my life in the past few months but everything has been good. Too good actually validating my theory that I only remember to write when terrible things are happening. Now I’m on a break. I’m on a break from negativity and bad decisions. Sometimes, when you meet a person who can sing Death Cab for Cutie songs with you on a late night drive, everything’s going to be alright.

It has not been easy the past two years. I’ve forgotten anything related to feels. It’s been a series of “Oh, I guess this is happening” kind of things. I’ve become numb to feelings and have been confused with appropriating the right emotion for certain situations. But it’s very refreshing to be reminded of how great it can be to feel again. To just let go and just, that, feel. It’s not easy. I’m still on my tippy toes. But I’ve been taking it one day at a time and just taking it all in slowly. Someone’s been patiently helping me feel again. I think I’m keeping him.