Addiction

I’ve quit smoking for months now and I don’t even miss it. I’ve been offered to smoke countless times since but I’ve successfully declined all occasions, including nights of drunken stupor. Maybe I was never addicted to smoking, maybe it was just a phase in my life.

If I’m being honest, I only have two addictions: coffee; and chasing someone who gives me the least amount of attention. I don’t think I can quit coffee yet, but I resolve to quit the latter.

I would say most of us seek attention. Especially in this generation when all forms of attention seeking platforms are readily available. But I hate how I always end up crying for attention from someone who probably thinks I exist only occasionally. What do I get from this? What do I get from attempting to maybe get more than a shrug? Nothing but embarrassment and self-loathing.

Hence, going forward, I refuse to get treated like dirt. I know this has become an addiction because it’s been tough for me to quit. I get a random nudge, and I’m dragged back into craving the attention that’s not given to me.

So I quit.

I resolve to quit the endless infatuation with games, maybes and boy hysteria.

I’m an independent girl who deserves more than a freaking nudge and I don’t have time for anything less.

Now let me go get a shot of espresso with my coffee please.

The year that was

2012 was amazing. It was unexpected, very spontaneous and a YOLO year in the truest sense. I guess I actually lived my new year’s resolution to just be happy and alive. 

I am quite embarrassed actually that I have always whined about not having “anyone” when in hindsight, I genuinely feel glad that I was not in a relationship at all. Cause if I were, I wouldn’t have made all these great memories and funny experiences I had “for the story”.

Traveled twice this year, got a permanent job, went to music events that I always live for, partied extremely hard *wink, re-connected with basketball, reached my ideal weight and fitness, revamped my closet, got a new car and so much more. I’m glad my early cravings for emotional excitement, stimulation and something new was fulfilled the entire year. I probably had a “down” moment for only a month out of the twelve months of 2012.

Yes, it was that awesome.

For 2013, what I’m hoping for mostly is to achieve bigger highs. I want to be better at what I do. I want to grow up a little, especially in my career. I am where I want to be right now. I just know I can do better.